A tad overwhelmed...

So here we are, over a week in now... and I just kind of feel lost.

Last night, I was attempting for the second time to meet up with a friend of a friend at my local subway station. I'd decided, to save money, that I would take a bus to the station instead of my normal $3+ taxi ride (bus fare is roughly 75 cents). A coworker kindly told me which bus to take (though she'd said 5-4 or 5-6, I'd interpreted it as 54 or 56)... I ended up on the wrong bus.

Let me tell you, there are few things more unnerving (to me) than being a.)alone in a country where you don't speak the language, b.) in a city you barely know, c.) with street signs you can't decipher, d.) on an unfamiliar bus route, and e.) with urgent news playing on the speakers. My eyes teared up, and I felt panicking thoughts surface: "What on EARTH am I doing in this country? Why did I decide to come here? I'm so hopelessly lost and awkward here. What am I doing with my life? I'm already late -again- meeting my friend!" ... ad nauseum. And this was on the night of the North/South Korea skirmish, where artillery shells were fired from both sides. Any pertinent news was lost to me, not being able to understand Korean. I felt completely and hopelessly detached from the world. What a feeling.

And then I decided to try something different: I took a deep breath and started some positive self talk: "You're an intelligent person. You're navigating a foreign city solo; give yourself some credit. Relax. If you miss your friend, it's not the end of the world. Be patient." etc. It helped a great deal. Eventually, I was able to find another subway station just one stop away from my own.

Horrendously long story short, I found my friend and was eventually treated to a delicious Korean meal. I was so relieved and grateful.

Then today, school was pretty decent, luckily. Though my homeroom class was HORRENDOUS at first, we eventually were able to have some fun and enjoy class. The day went pretty much as smoothly as possible, and I was looking forward to meeting a new friend this evening.

Well, eventually I felt a resurgence of last night's awful sinking feeling. My friend, ever educated and decidedly non-American (he's South African), engaged me in a conversation where I soon felt I was in over my head. I know a minimal amount of politics and literature, which are two of his favorite topics. Oy. I felt immediately as if I were drowning. I felt incredibly intellectually inferior (how's THAT for alliteration, eh?). There's only so much a girl's ego can take! Embarrassingly, I broke down and confessed these feelings to him, which undoubtedly made him uncomfortable as well. And there we were.

So here I am, home, trying to decide how highly I esteem myself. I had just come to be really happy with who I was and what I'd accomplished... and now it's like I'm back at square one. Well, I'm probably being melodramatic, but it's not a pleasant feeling at any rate.

I have a much more chipper entry that I wrote in a cafe this past weekend... When I have the time/desire, I will definitely type it up and post it. For now, I shall go do productive things (read: NOT wallow in self misery)! Cheers!

Day 4: Surviving on my own!!

So I'm at a PC bang (internet cafe)... it's really, really nice here! Anyway, I just took my first subway trip, and solo at that! I'm meeting a friend in a bit, and have heard about how easy the public transportation is here. It is, assuming you know where you're going!

I plan to write a more lengthy blog later, but here are some notes from my first few days here:

-Many people wear cloth surgical masks here, including many of my students... I wonder if it helps!
-Some students have difficulty saying my name. One student asked, "Marybeth? Like bath? Like bathroom? Marybathroom?" Good grief!
-TWO of my little students have MULLETS. Yes, Korean *mullets*.
-My name in the classroom is "Marybeth teacher," and I think it's adorable!
-The 7-year-olds (6-year-olds by American standards) can multiply. My 6th *graders* struggled with multiplication.
-I'm wondering if I'm actually here to perpetuate the demise of my own country... Am I educating the youth who will in turn take over the Western world in a decade or two?
-Trash cans are hard to come by; I have to learn how to dispose of things here. Rumour has it that food gets composted, so you're not supposed to throw it away. I love that!

All right, must go exchange some money, as I have only 2000won (~$2.50?) left!

Cheers!

Less than a week 'til takeoff!!!

So it's almost go-time!!! I'm getting sooo excited! Unfortunately, I've been under the weather the past week, but I think good health is on the way! :)

Also, the past week and a half, I've been training and now working as a SERVER!!! :D It's been a goal of mine for the past 10-ish years, and I'm so glad to finally be trying it out! I definitely like it, and the pay's pretty good, so I figure I'll make a little money before I leave the U.S. And I feel a little bad; my employers won't know about my South Korea plans until tomorrow... Just 6 days before I leave. Whoops. So yeah, there's a little guilt there, but hopefully they'll understand.

On a brighter note, Ohio's giving me a gorgeous sendoff; fall is in full force here, and it's lovely! I'll provide some photographic evidence to back myself up:






Finally, I've decided that tomorrow is the day to PACK!! I have to figure out what I'll need for the next year of my life... Should be interesting! I'll post before/after pics as soon as I take them, so the folks at home can play along. ;)

All rightee... this'll be one of my last posts Stateside (sound familiar??).

Cheers!